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Bringing Up Kids When Church Lets You Down

A Guide for Parents Questioning Their Faith

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

“This book is about the various places and ways that uncertainty shows up for parents who, having left or altered the faith they once knew, now must decide what to give their kids. It’s about church attendance, Bible memorization, school choices, and sex talks. It’s about forging new paths in racial justice and creation care while the intractable voices in your head call you a pagan Marxist for doing so.”

After the spectacular implosion of her ministry career, Bekah McNeel was left disillusioned and without the foundation of certainty she had built her life on. But rather than leaving the Christian faith altogether, she hung out around the edges, began questioning oversimplified categories of black and white that she had been taught were sacred, and became comfortable living in gray areas while starting a new career in journalism.

Then she had kids.

From the moment someone asked if she was going to have her first child baptized, Bekah began to wonder if the conservative evangelical Christianity she grew up with was really something she wanted to give her children. That question only became more complicated when she had her second child months before White evangelicals carried Donald Trump to victory in the 2016 presidential election. Soon, Bekah found that other parents were asking similar questions as they broke with their fundamentalist religious upbringing and took on new values: Could they raise their kids to live with both the security of faith and the freedom of open-mindedness? To value both Scripture and social justice? To learn morality without shame?

In Bringing Up Kids When Church Lets You Down, Bekah gathers voices from history, scholarship, and her own community to guide others who, like her, are on a quest to shed the false certainty and toxic perfectionism of their past to become better, healthier parents—while still providing strong spiritual foundations for their children. She writes with humor and empathy, providing wise reflections (but not glib answers!) on difficult parenting topics while reminding us that we are not alone, even when we break away from the crowd.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      August 22, 2022
      “Is the Christianity I grew up with something I want to give my children?” asks journalist McNeel in her searching debut. She details how her ambivalence about her conservative evangelical upbringing has impacted her parenting and how other parents might approach sharing Christianity with their children as they interrogate their own faith. She addresses the complexities of teaching children how to interpret the Bible and talk with them about hell and sex, noting that purity culture’s emphasis on deterrence often doesn’t work and that maintaining a nonjudgmental disposition will make kids more likely to feel comfortable asking about sex. Recounting Sunday school races to find Bible passages before her peers, the author critiques competitive approaches to scriptural study and writes that she encourages her children to listen for God in their conscience, nature, and friends, in addition to the Bible. McNeel’s wry wit entertains (one chapter is titled “How to Lose the Faith and Keep It Off”), and she excels at biting social commentary and psychological insight, such as when she posits that punishing sins often doesn’t work because “trouble outside signals hurt inside, not corruption.” This has plenty of wisdom for Christian parents wrestling with their faith.

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  • English

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