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Cool, Calm & Contentious

Essays

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available
“This is so well written. [When a book like this] comes along, it’s, like, ‘Thank you!’ What a great way to spend an afternoon, an evening, reading these essays. . . . Absolutely great.”—Jon Stewart
 
“[Merrill] Markoe is easily as funny as David Sedaris. She’s capable of manic riffs and acerbic skewering. Still, her good nature shines through.”—The Washington Post
 
In this hilarious collection of candid essays, including two pieces new to this edition, New York Times bestselling author Merrill Markoe reveals much about her personal life—as well as the secret formula for comedy: Start out with a difficult mother, develop some classic teenage insecurities, add a few relationships with narcissistic men, toss in an unruly pack of selfish dogs, finish it off with the kind of crystalline perspective that only comes from years of navigating a roiling sea of unpleasant and unappeasable people, and—voilà—you’re funny! Cool, Calm & Contentious is honest, unapologetic, sometimes heartbreaking, but always shot through with Merrill Markoe’s biting, bracing wit.
 
“This has been a great year for funny women. . . . Let’s call Tina Fey and Mindy Kaling exhibits A and B. Both owe a debt to those who came before, including Merrill Markoe.”—The Boston Globe
 
“Markoe’s goal is to find the absurdity in everyday life. That, coupled with her sharp wit, makes her writing sublime.”—BookPage
 
“Laugh-out-loud humor.”—Tampa Bay Times
 
“Not only crazy-funny, but crazy-heartbreaking.”—The New York Times
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  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      September 26, 2011
      Though her last two novels were canine-centric, comedy writer Markoe (Nose Down, Eyes Up) primarily branches out to the human world in this witty, affecting collection of personal essays though her own pack of four dogs does make regular, usually brief, appearances throughout. In “Jimmy Explains His Wake-Up Technique,” flat-coated retriever Jimmy, Markoe’s surprisingly articulate canine, compares his kamikaze morning leap onto her bed as a “ballet.” But her most intimate essays recall her early years, as a high school student first in Florida and then outside San Francisco, in “When I Was Jack Kerouac,” and later as an art student trying her hardest to be rebellious in college at Berkeley in the ’60s, such as in “Virginity Entrepreneurs.” Humor—from a helpful list for everyday life in “How to Spot an Asshole” to her own take on the popular TV show The Dog Whisperer in “The Dog Prattler”—is interspersed with serious issues, from sexual assault to coping with a parent’s death. Several of her best pieces come from her experiences as a reporter on assignment, particularly in “Saturday Night with Hieronymus Bosch,” where she covered the Fetish Ball in L.A. (think latex and spanking), and “Roiling on a River,” about an all-women’s rafting trip (think healing circles). Markoe, the original head writer for Letterman, is acerbic without being corrosive, endearing yet never saccharine.

    • Library Journal

      November 15, 2011

      Comedian Markoe, the original head writer for The Late Show with David Letterman, offers funny and frank pieces here on her mother, her dogs, and her love life. After her mother's death, Markoe found a collection of her mother's journals written during a time, 1959-89, when her mother did much world traveling. Through her mother's responses to tourist attractions (Venice's St. Mark's Square is "terribly over-decorated") and reading notes (Oliver Twist was not one of Dickens's "better works"), Markoe became aware of her mother's charm. Markoe discusses the 15 dogs she has owned since childhood, seeing them now as "exceedingly cooperative exchange students from another planet." On a serious note, she writes not only about losing her virginity during her "Berkeley years" but about being raped around that time as well. An exceptional collection of personal essays. [See Prepub Alert, 5/2/11.]--J.S.

      Copyright 2011 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

    • Booklist

      October 1, 2011
      For most of her life, my mother was varying degrees of pissed off. So begins Emmy-award winner Markoe's raucous new collection of essays featuring self-absorbed parents, selfish dogs, and really, really bad dates. With a perfect blend of sentimentality and scathing humor, Markoe recounts a host of precarious scenarioslosing her virginity, attending a Fetish Ball at the Hollywood Athletic Club, preparing to evacuate her Malibu home during the 1993 fires. She revisits her college days as an art major at the University of California, Berkeley, where she became proficient at operating power tools and navigating the advances of a professor in the department. Fans of Markoe's novels, including Walking in Circles before Lying Down (2006), know about her deep and abiding love for dogs. Here she engages her devoted hounds in a hilarious heart-to-heart about narcissism (she also offers a pithy primer on how to spot narcissists of the human variety). Markoe is the consummate comedienne, and this wry, sly offering will leave readers longing for more.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2011, American Library Association.)

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  • English

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